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The Inaugural 34° North Pentathlon & 5 Year Anniversary/Holiday Party

The Inaugural 34° North Pentathlon & 5 Year Anniversary/Holiday Party:


In the spirit of the Roman Empire we want to celebrate our 5th birthday and the holidays with a week of games in the “arena” of the gym and a bacchanalian party.

There will be fun, fellowship, food and drink! Plus the chance to earn cash, prizes and honor to your name and house.


We invite all personal training clients and members alike, to celebrate 5 years of movement, mindfulness and community by entering the inaugural 34° North Pentathlon.

From Monday, December 3rd through Saturday, December 8th a week of challenges, exhibitions and friendly competition will be held to celebrate the holidays and the 5 year reign of the 34N Dynasty culminating with a party and awards ceremony at Rose Cafe on Saturday.

Gym Members will battle in the arena for cash, prizes, and glory. Some Northerners will be immortalized in the minds of their countrymen: Will it be you!?

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The Details: Five events spread out over five days to test your skill, strength, mobility, resilience and guile.

  • DAY 1: Gymnastic Ring Flow (Monday, Dec. 3) - 75 seconds to execute and connect as many quality skills on the gymnastics rings as possible. Competitors will be judged on the quality of execution and level of difficulty. You have the option of doing your flow entirely bodyweight (highest difficulty level), with band assistance (moderate difficulty level), or with assistance from the floor or even using two sets of rings to demonstrate above the ring skills and below the ring skills for those that can’t transition between the two (lowest difficulty level).

  • DAY 2: Max Deadlift (Tuesday, Dec. 4) - After a 15 minute instructor led warm-up you’ll have three attempts at a 1-rep max deadlift.

  • DAY 3: Pull-Press Challenge (Thursday, Dec. 6) -

    • Men: One set of maximum bodyweight pull-ups (bar) followed immediately by maximum bodyweight ring dips. Score is combined number of reps from each exercise.

    • Women: One set of maximum black band assisted pull-ups (bar) followed immediately by maximum military style push-ups. Score is combined number of reps from each exercise.

  • DAY FOUR: Two-minute Snatch Test (Friday, Dec. 8) - You. One bell. Two minutes. Switch hands as often as you like. Put the bell down as needed. How many reps can you do?

    • Men use 24 kg.

    • Women use 12kg.

  • DAY FIVE: The Eliminator (Saturday, Dec. 9) - An event to separate the real ones from the pretenders. Quickest time wins.

a. Ninja Burglar Gauntlet - Make your way through five standardized obstacle combinations. Touch any part of the obstacles and you get a 5 second penalty added to your time.

b. Sled push 3 laps down and back. Men push 5 plates. Women push 3 plates.

c. 2000 kg swing. Choose any KB weight you’d like to swing, but choose wisely. You’ll be swinging the bell until you’ve swung 2000 kg’s of weight. Picking a 48 kg means you have to do 42 swings to get to 2000 kg. 24 kg is 84 swings. 16 kg is 125 swing and so on.

d. Run around the block. No explanation needed. Just run!

e. Quadruped walk x 1 lap down and back….with a Thai pad balancing on your back. Each time the pad hits the ground you get a 5 second penalty.

Pentathlon FAQs:

Scoring & Standards: More details to come on scoring and the standards for each event. Videos on the way.

How to enter: Sign up with the front desk. There is an entry fee of $40, which also gets you a ticket to the holiday party and one raffle ticket ($25 value).

If you don’t want to do the full Pentathlon you can enter individual events for $10. Individual entries do not come with a ticket to the holiday party or raffle tickets.

Prizes: There will be a $500 cash prize for the Pentathlon winners and prize packages for 2nd and 3rd place. There will also be prizes and glory for individual event winners.

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The week of celebration will culminate with a party at Rose Cafe from 4:30 to 8:30 (or longer.) We’ll be providing food, hosting a raffle and having the awards ceremony at the party.

Tickets to the holiday party cost $25, which gets you into the party, the food and one raffle ticket. If you can’t go to the party, but want to buy a raffle ticket the cost is $15.

More details to come on the raffle and the awesome swag you’ll definitely want to win!

Be Strong, Move Beautifully,


Earlier Event: September 15
Ancestral Reset v3.0 Launch Meeting